The Preemptive Friendzone

Most guys are afraid of what we call, "the friend zone". But for the pickup artists, it isn't something to be afraid of. Take it from the pickup artist himself, Julian Foxx. Here's another one of his dating tips:

I have often heard members of The Seduction community express the idea that ending up in the 'friend zone' is sad news. Usually when I hear it mentioned in a workshop the fear becomes tangible. I'd like to permanently change how guys interpret what the 'Friend Zone' really is. It definitely isn't something you should be afraid of as long as you are the one in control of it. We're about to make friends with the 'friend zone' so hang on tight...

A while back I met a very hot redhead named Amy at a club. We really seemed to hit it off and I got what I considered to be a solid number close. Our first date was set. So the next night we met for mojitos at a little restaurant when I observed something odd; no matter what I tried there just wasn't much magic happening. Truth be told, regardless of how skilled you become, it is impossible to mesh perfectly with 100% of the ladies you date. So what now? This is where a little solid calibration comes in handy. I believe what many men would try is to 'push through' and continue attempting to create the chemistry with her until either it happens, or it doesn't and she blows you off. Sound familiar?

So there we are sitting together in a plush leathery coach and I knew I was at that very crossroads. I really did want to take her home but I was aware if I continued to escalate that the chances of her blowing me off were very substantial. So I impulsively made the decision to try something new. I unleashed what I now call the 'Preemptive Friendzone' attack. Before she had a chance to reject me outright I very warmly and sincerely friendzoned her first. The warmth and caring with which I did it was the key. The objective wasn't to make her feel bad simply to feel like I rejected her first. My goal was to actually become friends with her. Let us briefly examine some of the more obvious benefits of having a hot female friend:

A: They will become an invaluable feedback resource for you. No one is going to give better information about the finer sex and how to attract them than a lady herself!

B: She becomes your Wing. You can and should assign them the job of hooking you up with other hot girls. Sorry guys, but I'll take one of my lady friends any day of the week over the best PUA wingman.

C: There is a good probability that she will start lusting after you. As a matter of fact, it's quite likely to occur eventually. I believe the reason for this is that once we are 'just friends' with them we release a lot of the pressure on ourselves. We no longer feel that urgency to attract them or make them comfortable or do whatever it was that you were doing that wasn't working in the first place. I don't like clichés much but it actually becomes easier to just be yourself.

Now if there is one thing that a hot girl is not used to it's the guy telling her first that he just wants to be friends. She will be so confused, and every bit of it is to your advantage. The trick is to really mean it. You should not use this technique and be thinking 'gonna get her in bed later, gonna get her in bed later.The ladies aren't dumb and she will definitely notice if you are transparent. Simply let her go (at least for a little while;)as someone you are pursuing and just think about the dozens of other women she will introduce you to.

So I said to her, "First of all, I think you're very chill. And you're definitely very attractive too, I just feel like were really meant to be good buddies or something." Pay close attention to her reaction, it will almost always be poorly masked shock. And from here you will find that the transition to a new and mutually beneficial friendship is relatively simple. Providing you have some basic social skills she will most likely hang out with you again simply because you friend zoned her first and by doing so tipped the status seesaw more in your favor. Just make sure that you are not deceiving yourself here. Are you truly behaving like a buddy would when you are together or are you still 'gamin her?'

Here are a few telltale signs that indicate for me that I am really amongst friends: I burp a lot. I have lots of playful touching going on. I have no problem saying pretty offensive things. I am free to share my personal thoughts and feelings, etc... So just to sum things up: the friend zone should not ever be your goal initially. This technique is to be used when you are dealing with inevitable meltdown. That being said, you will find that cultivating hot female friends will have incredible benefits to your social life and love life as well.


Have fun,

Julian Foxx


PS: To this day Amy is still a good friend of mine somehow, even after I dated her sister;)

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To check out some more dating innovation by Julian Foxx, go to:

http://www.julianfoxx.com/dating-tips-for-men

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Dating Women Simultaneously for Unexpected Reasons

While some guys want to date as many girls as they can, there are those who want to date the one girl for them. Would you believe if I tell you that you might find her if you date multiple girls? Here are good dating tips for guys out there who would like to find the right one for them. This article is again from Julian Foxx.

Many of you reading this right now probably need very little nudging from me to recognize many of the more obvious benefits of having a lot of girls on your radar. Despite this, it can still be very helpful to look carefully at the reasons why. And for the men out there desperately seeking 'the one' I strongly urge you to read on.

If you are going after lots of girls, one or two rejections is no big deal. If I am actively pursuing 10 girls at the same time and two of them flake I have a wonderful place to refocus my attention: 8 other lovely prospects. In fact, if you view your failures as learning experiences than you can take whatever you may have learned from the two flakes and instantly apply those lessons to subsequent interactions. In essence, failure can become exciting and fun! (Although clearly it should never be your goal)

There's an old joke that always stuck with me: How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! Practice makes perfect. You don't come out of the womb with great seduction skills. It is comprised of many learnable skill sets and therefore takes a certain amount of dedication. The more women you are pursuing, the more opportunities you have to make connections between situations and occasionally have a revelation or two. Back when I was a wee babe I played the piano and made sure I had an hour daily to drill the scales. Now I set aside an hour or two a day to text and make phone calls to my prospects. And in the evenings I'm out with many of them 'practicing' in person. The point is, the more women you are actively pursuing, the more practice you are getting and the faster you will develop.

Building on practice is this key idea: Having multiple girls in your sights encourages you to experiment and take risks with them. I cannot overemphasize how essential this idea is. Knowing that we have 'backups' in place can fuel us to take risks that we would normally hesitate on. We can use this newfound freedom to try out new techniques. We can use it to actually go with our impulses instead of blocking them.

All of the most important discoveries and breakthroughs I've made have been a direct result of this concept. You can read about pickup and think about pickup as much as you want but if you're not actually out there taking chances with it you are not going to improve at all. And if all you're thinking about is 'your main squeeze' it's going to be impossible to apply this vital perspective.

And perhaps the most important reason for having multiple prospects is this: your behavior and your energy will change for the better without even thinking about it. If you really think about it, we are strategically placing ourselves in the same mindset that beautiful women are in. These kinds of ladies have enough guys after them that they can't even stay organized and flake by default much of the time. This is one of the reasons I purposely schedule many of my 'dates' with different women for the same evening. (A technique I discuss more in 'No Flakes') Now the situation is flipped and I am having to cancel
with them. Your aura itself is different; it is free (or freer) of any hint of desperation or neediness. The more prospects you have on your plate, the less anxiety you will experience over any one of them. And as women are typically more intuitive than men, they will most certainly pick up on this.

In other words the more women I am gaming, the better my success rate is with them. So to the man who says, "No, I just want to find the one girl for me!" I say in response: You'll have a much better chance of finding her if you're exploring multiple options, and she will probably be much more receptive to you because of the positive changes in your behavior as a result of having those options.

Have fun,

Julian Foxx

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To discover the latest dating tactics for men,
go to http://www.julianfoxx.com/dating-advice

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Flirting with Your 'Bedroom Eyes'

Pick-up Artists need different ways on how to express sexual interest directly. But should also need to have an 'escape hatch' if girls calls us out on it. That was an advice from the Pickup Artist himself, Julian Foxx. Ever since I came across to his site, julianfoxx.com, I suddenly admired his style in attracting women. One of his dating tips for men is to use the common technique that he called, 'Bedroom Eyes:'

An abundance of masculine energy and sexual intensity can carry out a lot of things; it lets her know that you are A MAN and not apprehensive in showing that. In fact, it is one of the most effective actions to aloow rapid jumps towards intimacy.

So as PUA's we need various styles and tricks to express overt sexual interest but also have an 'escape hatch' if she calls us out on it.

Let's talk about a very widely used technique we utilize to convey sexual interest...'Bedroom Eyes:'

One obvious benefit about sustained 'bedroom eye' contact is it's certainly not gonna land you in the friendzone.

And I'm a strong advocate that you should go practice in front of a mirror or a good buddy. (Just try not to start kino-ing them;)

For me, 'Bedroom Eyes' feels something like this:

- My head is often cocked slightly to the side or back as if I'm examining her

- My head can be still but can also have slow sustained movement

- The lids of my eyes are easy and relaxed, not wide eyed

- I'm not afraid to hold her gaze just slightly longer than what is 'socially acceptable'

- I drink in her eyes and relish the moments when she breaks the eye contact first

- My subtext is: "You have me intrigued...if I like you enough, I will give you the best sex you've ever had...maybe..."

Now...

Even after you get really good at doing this you will almost always get called out on it by her, particularly if you are with her for an extended period of time.

Here is a brilliant counter I developed to deal with her when she does:

*What's below should all be playful, and you should really get her to do it*

Her: "You keep looking at me with this sexy stare."
You: "What are you talking about?"
Her: "Yeah, you keep looking at me...I don't know..."
You: "Ok, since I have no idea what you're talking about, can you show me what I am supposedly doing?"
Her: "I'm not sure if I can imitate it."
You: "Come onnnn, show me;) Let's see this look you SAY I'm giving you."

*she imitates*

You: "Oh my God. That might be the sexiest thing I've ever seen. Is that I how I look to you when I'm doing it? Wow. You should keep on doing that!"

She will laugh, but the laugh is not the real payoff. You have now started a game with her that you will continue throughout the interaction, periodically getting her to show you the 'look' again...

The trick is now you've got HER giving YOU bedroom eye contact too which accomplishes 3 things:

1. You've got yourselves a fun little game you can always go back to.

2. This kind of play amplifies the sexual chemistry.

3. Her imitating the face actually reinforces in her mind that she really is interested in you.


Enjoy,

Julian

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Julian Foxx is considered by many to be the fastest Rising Star in the pickup artist and dating community. His jaw dropping effectiveness with women is matched only by his ability to innovate powerful new techniques, giving their user a ridiculously unfair advantage. Check out http://www.julianfoxx.com and read Julian's controversial ideas on the Mystery VH1 show 'The Pickup Artist' at http://www.julianfoxx.com/mystery-vh1

Looks easy, huh. But let's not risk it. We might blow the whole flirting plan, practice still makes it perfect. I think I'd prefer practicing it in front of the mirror, though.

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Menstruation and Sexuality

For a fact, women's menstruation may ruin your date. But did you know that women's menstruation has something to do with their preferences with men? Here's an interesting article that explains it best:

I've always been fairly attached to my face but one certainly wouldn't describe it as overly 'masculine'. My lips are puffy and red, I don't have the square jaw line that John Cena or a typical linebacker has, my cheekbones are higher and my skin is soft and properly moisturized;) Basically I possess (along with many men) some facial characteristics that could be perceived as more 'feminine'. The significance is this: Scientific research shows that women are more attracted to the 'alpha' (that is, very masculine) facial features on a man when they are ovulating and thus more likely to conceive. Conversely, they are more attracted to the 'feminine' facial features on a man when they are menstruating and thus less likely to become pregnant. When I first discovered this I was a bit disappointed but eventually it dawned on me that I still had just as wide a window of opportunity as my more masculine faced friends did because ovulation and menstruation last for about the same amount of time. In fact, I realized I had one major advantage: although I will spend a lot more money on new bedding than Lou Ferrigno ever did, I am a lot less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy.

As intriguing as this all sounds, it is how we put this knowledge into action that makes the difference. Here are the two things you must do to harness and wield this knowledge:

1. Know thyself.

Our inherited bone structure primarily influences the shapes of our faces. Most men have one of seven facial shapes (oblong, round, triangular, square, pear-shaped, rectangular, diamond or a combination of shapes). Go check yourself in front of the mirror and be attentive to the details. Is your jawline wide and square or slimmer and perhaps more heart shaped? Are your lips narrow or pouty? Look at the line of your brow, does it hang over your eyes or is it flatter making your eyes more visible? Be honest with yourself. Decide where you fall on the continuum of facial features. It's not important where you fall. It only matters that YOU know where you fall.

2. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again in two weeks.

If you blow a chance to get laid, or fail to even get her to show up for a meeting, all is not lost. If you have stronger facial features it is very possible that your timing was a little off and she had just begun her period. (Hence she was probably with me.) Clearly the opposite scenario is just as likely to happen. The real key here is developing solid 'follow up' game. If you have the text/phone skills to keep her on the hook for the next couple of weeks you may just find success as she enters the next stage of her cycle. Let's be clear: you don't HAVE to wait two weeks after a failure to try again. You don't HAVE to exclusively target girls on their period if you look like Elijah Wood. These tools are meant to boost your awareness, tighten your calibration, and add rocket fuel to your determination. I have always been a firm believer of persistence, and now we have one more biological justification not to give up.

Have fun,

Julian Foxx

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Julian Foxx is considered by many to be the fastest Rising Star in the pickup artist and dating community. His jaw dropping effectiveness with women is matched only by his ability to innovate powerful new techniques, giving their user a ridiculously unfair advantage. Check out http://www.julianfoxx.com and read Julian's controversial ideas on the Mystery VH1 show 'The Pickup Artist' at http://www.julianfoxx.com/mystery-vh1

This is the first time that I knew of this fact and just as what the author indicated, this should not discourage us. It's just a simple addition to our knowledge.

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